I would say I primarily think about the present. I mean, I really want to live in the present. To me, it’s a sign that the past has treated us well and we can look forward to enjoying a future that is somewhat similar. That is not to say I do not enjoy (or sometimes even lament) brief trips to the past and future.
I personally feel this way because at the present moment (no pun intended) I am happy with my present life. I have a lot of good life memories (no, not perfect by any means) just the kind of memories that I can see how they shaped my life into what it is today. Good, bad, happy, sad – a vortex of emotions, actions, feelings that all led to the person that I am today. My future is perhaps more limited than most, in as much as I am older, retired, but I still have many things I would love to do. This exercise in writing has a purpose. I feel that there may be a book inside me somewhere, and I am using this venue as a means to exercise my story-telling abilities so that I may determine at some point if I have the actual talent and the ability to produce something others would find worthy of their time.
The past has moments, both good and bad, none of it is changeable, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. What a waste of time to contemplate one’s past. Or is it? If we are presently unhappy can we rewire our present selves based upon past decisions made, both bad and good? Can we take our past lessons, and lay out a future that we would prefer to be living? I think the answer may be to consider the past as separate from ourselves, a partner to refer to when making our current choices. “Wow, I love that BMW convertible”…but then past self-partner responds, “and how many times did you actually ride with the top down? – also, weren’t you annoyed with the louder acoustics and then decided to sell it, losing almost 30% of the value?” Okay, so that may be extreme, but I think you get the idea? (True story by the way).
I mean, this could come into play a lot, and with both lesser and larger consequences. We have to make use of the past, but also govern carefully just how to tweak lessons from the past to serve us in our present.
Living in the past is the cautionary tale we’ve all been warned about. Most of us (myself included) are content with moving forward and hopefully making the best of our past lessons. And yet for some, life does not go into a positive direction, so there is a beckoning to stay in the past, a refusal to move forward. I don’t think this is a big issue on the short term (grief, in particular captures us in a situation where to move forward is to let go and sometimes we are just not ready). We can all recognize though that in the end, the only healthy way through is forward.
The present represents all of our possibilities. Waking up to the same alarm sound, showering, dressing robotically and then commuting to an average, or worse, dead end job all while making an average income day after day can wear thin rather quickly. If this is the case then this is where we can make good use of our future pondering. What is the risk of starting anew, and what would be gained from it? This is the time to consider living in our future. Being the architect that can lift our dreary life habits into a new routine, one that doesn’t just improve ourselves financially, but gives us a bounce in our step when making our way to work. I know this feeling says my past, this was fun! We must work on a new resume this weekend. Envisioning future with a plan – now that’s a step in the right direction.
In another instance, we do need to be concerned about the future we want to live in at retirement. As someone who is past that stage by a few years, I guarantee that no matter what you save, you will definitely wish you had saved more.
The present is a wonderful place to be when all is well. You have good and solid memories of your past to recollect and enjoy, and the future is just a garden of ideas that you can peruse at will. I read somewhere that people who live in the future are prone to anxiety. I do not fully agree. I think this applies only to those who routinely dwell in future contemplations with no intention of taking any action. Think about that – because it takes a lot of energy to put yourself in various future scenarios, but if you have no intention of doing any of it, what are you actually doing other than torturing yourself. Now, if anticipation of those life changes are positive, and they motivate you to take action – then they can provide a map into the actual future that we want to be in.
I think the key word to consider when discussing past, present and future, is “stuck”. Past, present and future all have a job to do, it’s up to us to keep it in motion to be our best version for our best life. “Live in the present” we hear time and again, well, it’s no fun if you are not happy either. Stuck in the past, present or future are equally sad. Why would anyone be stuck? That elusive answer only found me recently. Fear. It is my deeply held belief that fear causes us to make our absolute worst decisions. Think about it. Think about why you made your last terrible decision. I bet it had something to do about avoiding something out of fear. I realized that fear was the basis of every single lousy decision I had ever made. While some fear can be a good thing (don’t eat the moldy bread, don’t invest all of your money in one place) unknown fear is just the mind keeping us stagnant. Chance is a cousin to fear. “Take a chance”. Play that lottery card – you could possibly win! (not likely though). Waging chance against fear, balancing both with what your past has already shown you, and envision your future. Now that is living as life should be lived. A dash of danger, a solid portion of experience, topped with heaps of hope. A recipe for success!
In the end, I feel that living in the past or the future should only be for short stays, and living happily in our present lives is the place we should be always be aiming to be.
Laboccadellaverita 